Changes
by sein Henker
Summary: Tish moaned, "Martha, we spent a whole year on that ship with no idea where you and Leo were or what either of you were doing or if you were even still alive! Are we supposed to go right back to doing that?"


Title: Changes  
Summary: Tish moaned, "Martha, we spent a whole year on that ship with no idea where you and Leo were or what either of you were doing or if you were even still alive! Are we supposed to go right back to doing that?"  
Rating: M for discussions of death, violence, and sex.  
Word Count: 1985  
Other Chapters: No.  
Disclaimer: The British Broadcasting Corporation owns Doctor Who and all related trademarks. I do not in any way profit from the use of these trademarks.  
Pairings: Clive Jones/Francine Jones (mentioned); Clive Jones/Annalise (mentioned)  
Contains: Vague talk of sex, minor references to Torchwood canon.  
Warnings: Death, violence

* * *

"Poor Leo's got his hopes up," Tish said. "Do you want to tell him there isn't a chance of it actually working out, or should I?"

"Let him hope," Martha said, pouring them both tea. "This family doesn't need any more misery than it's already had."

Tish frowned. "You agree with me though, right? It isn't—"

"It's really, really not," Martha looked at Tish with wide eyes and shook her head, and Tish relaxed a bit. They were back in their childhood home, now their mum's house. Martha'd had to move back home after the Year That Never Was, since her flat had been blown up. She had no money, nothing to pawn, nowhere to live, and she was having a Hell of a time proving to her landlord that the explosion hadn't been her fault. To make everything worse, two days after she'd left the TARDIS, she'd come to the startling realization that she had absolutely no intention of finishing her residency. It no longer felt right. Nothing from before would ever feel right again. Martha's parents weren't pleased, but... Everything had changed.

Tish was still living on her own, but she dropped in nearly every day, just to see Martha and their mother and be around people who understood. Their father had been over a lot too, lately. Martha's parents were back together, and currently visiting Leo and Kiesha together. It was the first time in more than a year that Kiesha had seen both her paternal grandparents at the same time. It would probably be the last for another year, because this wasn't going to work out. For now, though, Martha was trying to be supportive, and there really wasn't much point in pre-emptively crushing Leo's hopes. It wouldn't exactly spare his feelings in the long run. It'd probably just get him angry at them. And this was better than seeing their dad with Annalise.

"It happens all the time, right?" Martha said. "People go through terrible things together, and they... they start to think they have feelings for each other. But it isn't real."

"Right," Tish smiled and took a drink as soon as Martha handed the tea to her. "Though, come to that, I wouldn't call what dad had with Annalisereal either."

"Annalise wasn't mum. She didn't want real." Martha sipped her own tea and they sat down at the dining room table. "Think they'll get back together, after mum leaves dad?"

"Not a chance. She won't wait for him. I just worry who dad'll find next."

"I don't even want to think about it," Martha said.

"It's a toss up for me," Tish said. She made a disgusted face that Martha knew had nothing to do with the tea. "Do you have to watch them kiss, living here? Isn't that just the weirdest and the grossest thing?"

"I don't have to watch anything," Martha said. "I have my bedroom and I go to it."

"Lucky you," Tish said. "I couldn't exactly walk away from them in those cells. I can't pretend it was the worst thing about my time on the Valiant, but..." She shook her head and blinked hard a few times, then laughed, not her normal, fun laugh but a dark and broken laugh.

"Tish, are you—"

"Fine," Tish said quickly. She sobered and took another drink of her tea. "I have the worst professional luck in the world and I've witnessed an end of the world that didn't really happen, but otherwise I'm fine."

"I'm always here if you need to talk," Martha said. "I get it. The bad dreams, the anxiety, that constant feeling that you're seeing a ghost..." Sometimes Martha wondered if she wouldn't be happier with the Doctor, on some far-off planet where she wouldn't see the ghosts of living people everywhere.

"So why are you doing this again?!" Tish said.

"What?"

"Mum told me!" Tish shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "You're leaving the hospital and taking some alien-hunting job. Is it Jack? Is that it? Are you going to work with Jack?"

"No," Martha said. "I thought about it, but no. He'd hire me on the spot if I rang him up, but I'd have to move to Cardiff and I'm not doing that. I'm not leaving you and mum and dad."

"Good," Tish said, "Because I love that man but I don't want my baby sister anywhere near him." She forced a smile. "I know trouble when I see it."

"He's a friend!" Martha said. "And he'll stay a friend. That's all. We've both travelled with the Doctor and we kind of... share something. It's hard to explain."

"Really, though, Martha, why are you putting yourself through this again? It's done now. Move on with your life. I thought you left the Doctor because you didn't want all that any more."

Martha shook her head. "No. That was never it. I left the Doctor for you. And because he wasn't healthy for me. It was never the aliens. I..." She sighed and took another drink of tea to buy herself time to find the right words. "I don't think I could ever do anything else now, knowing what all's out there."

Tish said nothing, but she looked like Martha was breaking her heart.

Martha kept trying. "I want to be a doctor because I wanted to help people, right? And doctors do that, and it's great. But I think I could help people so much more with UNIT. I wouldn't have to leave London—" She laughed a little despite herself. "—God knows we've got more than our fair share of alien activity." She sighed and nudged her teacup on the table slightly. "I studied hard for my exams, Tish, and I used what I learned in my travels with the Doctor, but I just don't feel like a traditional medical career is the best place for me after... after everything."

"God," Tish moaned, "Martha, maybe this isn't about you! What about mum and dad? What about me? We spent a whole year on that ship with no idea where you and Leo were or what either of you were doing or if you were even still alive! Are we supposed to go right back to doing that? Never knowing if you're safe? Wondering every single day if the next time we see you, we'll be identifying your body?"

"Maybe my life isn't about you or mum or dad, Tish!" Martha realized she was yelling and stopped. She'd known this was coming but she'd hoped it would go better...

"I was a slave, Martha. Do you get that? I was a fucking slave because of you. Me, and mum, and dad. And we have to live with those memories forever. Because of you—"

"Stop it!" Martha said. "You voted for Saxon! I know you did and I know mum did too. And mum talked to him and told him all about me and let him tap the phone line... Mum and dad tried to lure me here for him! You went to work for him! So don't pretend this is all my fault! Leo got away because Leo was the only one who didn't cosy up to Saxon! You were taken right from his office! And what about Lazarus? You could have died working as his head of PR! Might have done if I hadn't brought the Doctor there! And this whole thing got started because I nearly died working in the hospital, so it's not as if that's any safer!" Martha sighed. "Look around you, Tish. We're not safe anyway. Pretending we know less than we do won't protect us. It won't protect anyone."

Tish covered her mouth to stifle a sob, and Martha reached across the table to grab her free right hand. She pulled it away before Martha could touch it. "What about Adeola? Do you want to tell Uncle Abdualla and Aunt Charmaine that you're going to work for Torchwood after what happened to Addy?"

"I'm not going to work for Torchwood, I'm going to work for UNIT."

"What's the difference?"

"I already told you: I'd have to move to Cardiff to work for Torchwood. With UNIT, I can stay in London."

"So there is no difference!" Before Martha could launch into a long speech about the vastly different political roles that the two organizations had historically played and were currently playing, Tish stopped her. "I just want you safe," she said. "Mum and dad just want you safe. It's been a long year since we've had that. Don't take it from us now."

Martha shook her head. "I'm sorry, Tish. I really am, but I can't pretend that it all didn't happen—"

"You think any of us can?! But I still have to find a new job as a PR girl, don't I? Mum and dad still have to go to their business meetings and..." She didn't cry, but she shut her eyes for a long time, and Martha could tell it was a struggle for her not to.

"Tish," Martha said, "If you wanted to do something else, I'd support you."

"I don't want to do anything else," Tish said, sighing. "I never want to see or think about another alien ever again. I'm not even sure I could handle bumping into Jack on the street, at this point." She took a long drink of tea. "He used to talk to me while I was feeding him, and he told me..." She shook her head and gathered her thoughts for a second before going on, "He just talked about his team in Cardiff and some of the stuff they'd seen. Nothing near the worst of the worst of it, I think, but just the silly things. Marriages that broke up when one partner turned out to be part fruit fly, space pigs, aliens that fucked men to death... and it was kind of nice at the time. Something to smile about. But now I just keep looking at people and thinking about all those stories and about the Doctor and the Master and even Jack himself, and I realize that any of them could be an alien and god only knows what any of them could be capable of, and... isn't it terrifying?"

Martha shook her head. "I mean, I see what you mean, but that isn't what I see when I look at people, after that year..." She saw most them dead. The Tower Bridge in ruins. Palaces collapsing. Empires falling. Everywhere. All the time. "I just see ghosts."

"I get that," Tish said. "You think you'll stop seeing them if you do this?"

Martha shook her head. "I doubt it. I probably never will. I could go new places, maybe not have to think about what the monuments look like in giant heaps of rubble, but it wouldn't stop me from thinking about all those people who died last year and are up and walking around now." Martha shivered. "At least it wasn't Leo." She looked into her sister's eyes. "What I will find at UNIT is people who understand. And people who'llbelieve me when I talk, even if they don't understand." Martha took another drink of her tea and smirked. "Besides, I've yet to meet an alien as awful as Stoker, and I've met some bad ones."

Tish cracked a smile.

Martha snapped and pointed. "There! It's going to be okay, okay?"

Tish shook her head, but kept smiling, albeit sadly.

"Did mum and dad put you up to this?"

Tish shrugged. "They told me you got the job offer and thought I might have a better shot of talking you out of it than they did. But I'm not doing it for them. I wanted to try. Never stood a chance, did I?"

"I've already taken the job," Martha admitted. "Sorry."

Tish sighed. "You're not, though."

"No."


End file.
